FCKING A

The A stands for Autism, in case there was doubt. It can be said with a sense of pride, like “yes, I am Autistic. Fcking A!” or self directed, like “suffering from that fcking A!”. This phrase was my natural reaction and led me on to some nice deep dives into etymology and cultural resonance.

The phrase was attributed to a novel, Norman Mailer’s The Naked and the Dead, but considered to have predated that work and come from a form of f*cking affirmative, and the US Army. An expression of triumph or joy, usually in response to unexpected good news.

"’You’re fuggin ay,’ Gallegher snorted.”

Mailer famously replaced every F word with the word Fug but I’m inclined to just miss out the U and let the eye gather up the consonants itself, much like I did with the novel Coolest Fcking Cool.

There are a myriad ways of representing Autism and many icons, names, and phrases that have been generated by people in the community and those on the outside. First being the whole “autistic person” or “person with autism” trope, which I don’t get, mainly because those terms are labels from outside.

It seems obvious that you can’t be ‘with’ Autism, like it’s a side-order. Neither does it seem correct to state ‘having’ Autism. Is it something you ‘have’, in the same way you ‘have’ cold or perhaps, slightly differently, in the way you ‘have’ a brain or have a name?

The clearest use of language that feels right is just to ‘be’ Autistic, being as a state that encompasses the identity.

I don’t know the answer, and have only wrestled with the concept for a very short time, such is the way for many late diagnosed, so for me I wrap it up in the Fcking A and all my thoughts on the matter will be here and this thought process will only be available to the Solus membership level of the Mobius Engine Patreon.